8 Ways to Support a Spouse Who Deals with Chronic Pain

Posted by Sandy De Ocampo on

My husband promised to love me in sickness and in health. He kept that promise.

It's challenging to support a spouse or loved one who suffers from chronic pain. They'll in all likelihood need a lot more time at home to rest, recuperate, and manage their discomfort and they won't be able to go out very frequently.

Chronic pain has a domino-effect, affecting not only your life and forcing you to manage your pain, but also your personal relationships.

“According to a study in the journal of Pain, chronic pain has a significant impact on a person’s social relationships and can be a key trigger for the development of anxiety, depression and anger.”

As a spouse of someone who deals with chronic pain, finding a healthy way to cope with the challenges is essential. Luckily, there are ways to help you get there. We made the list: 8 Ways to Support a Spouse Who Deals with Chronic Pain specially for you.


  1. Learn about chronic pain

Educate yourself. Learning about your loved one's condition will help you feel more empathy and comprehend why and how it impacts them. To do this, you can read up articles about chronic pain. But be sure to speak with your spouse  about what you read because no two chronic pain sufferers are identical.

You can also accompany them to their appointments, not only to support and show empathy, but also to learn more about their condition.


  1. Check in on them

For chronic pain sufferers,  it would be helpful if you would take some time during the day to tell them you love and care for them.  Asking how they are and reminding them that they matter and that you are here for them will help them avoid feeling isolated and lonely.


  1. Be patient

We cannot stress enough how important it is for chronic pain sufferers to have someone who is patient. They often times get very moody and get tired quickly so they usually start arguments easily. Please always try to be patient and remind yourself that your spouse is so much more than the pain they are experiencing.


  1. Listen to complaints

We don’t always realize, but sometimes all they need is a pair of ears to listen. They don’t always want someone to try and fix things. And they don’t always need someone talking them out of feeling down. Sometimes, all they need is someone who will say that it’s okay to have bad days– a little acknowledgment goes a long way.


  1. Ask, don’t assume

We understand that there will always be the urge to leap into action the moment you think you’re needed. But really, the only way to know what they need and want is to ask. Pre-empting every need can sometimes cause them to feel bad about themselves for being dependent. No one wants to lose their independence, so let’s try not to rob our spouse of it.


  1. Encourage independence

Letting them take on manageable activities and responsibilities will not only keep them active, but will also help them maintain their self-confidence, sense of self efficacy, and purpose.


  1. Help your children be kind and understanding to your spouse

It is easy for kids to assume that their parent is laying in bed all day because they just don’t care much about spending time with them.  So make sure kids understand that their mom or dad wishes they could spend more time with them or participate in more activities with them and regrets that they can't.


  1. Treat yourself with compassion

It's a recipe for anger and marital problems if you continuously suppress your own wants in order to help your spouse. Always acknowledge your own feelings and grief and don’t forget to take care of yourself and that you are a human being with your own needs too. If you take care of yourself, you'll be in a much better position to help your spouse.

 9 Reasons Why People Love This Pain Relief Cream


This pain tracking sheet is a simple to use form that you can print several copies and put them in a binder. You can fill it out throughout the day or every night with a warm cup of tea. Writing things down can also help to get them out of our mind.

This guide contains a comprehensive plan to help you live with less pain with the help of nature. This includes: Foods, aromatherapy, meditation, routines, sleep, exercise, self care, and more. 

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